Just a few things I need to get off my chest:
The fact that California weather forecasters can be so blatantly wrong so often, pisses me off. If I am standing outside with a case of swamp-ass, while getting a sun-burn, can we, just once, not report that it’s cold and raining.
Too much ice in my glass sucks. It waters down the flavor and proves you are a cheap bastard. Plus, I can’t figure out how to drink the damn thing without dribbling on myself.
Not signaling before you cut me off is a lot like being sucker-punched. There’s the whole wtf reaction, followed by the unmitigated desire to retaliate.
Getting Poked on Facebook is like foreplay without the payoff. It’s pointless and frustrating and just shouldn’t happen.
The grocery cart with the wheel that pulls left is staggeringly frustrating. I’ve certainly figured out ways to adjust when I am “going left” and it’s just not that friggin’ difficult to fix.
People not willing to turn right on a red light deserve something terrible, like being pushed into the intersection. Now you’ve been warned.
Media polls, which explain that 10% of the people are against something, are unnecessary and ridiculous. 10% of the population thinks Elvis is still alive. It’s not news! Hell, I’m in the 10% of the people who think lame news polls should never be posted.
Married people who flirt are like the Milk Duds at the movie theater. They sit there in the glass case tempting you, but when you finally devour one, you realize they were horribly overpriced and way less satisfying than you thought. 🙂
People who use the word “like” as their default phrase, after age 14, should be imprisoned, like criminals, like social deviants, like the inarticulate abominations they really are, and like those people who make bad similes like picking on teenagers is like picking your nose.
People who use clichés like “No one can hurt you unless you let them,” to console you after you’ve been surprised by a mugger or punched in the face by a drunken lunatic, should be punched and then asked the obvious question.
People who beg me to start a blog and then refuse to read it, because I spend most of my time writing cynical rants on whatever is bothering me that day, do not RULE!
Thanks for letting me vent.