A cure for insomnia

1:00 a.m. Sunday morning – the clock looks like the fourth and fifth finger on my right hand. Amid sauna temps, crickets chirp.  Headlights strobe through my window. I am insomnia incarnate.

Two nights ago I perched upon wooden benches taking in a performance of Willy Shake’s A Midsummer Night’s Dream and now I’m searching the cool side of my pillow for that Puckish merry wanderer of the night.  Lord, what fool a mortal I be.  It’s amazing to think five centuries have passed and the Bard’s breath lingers like new peppermints, while today’s news drifts away like an old fart.  Wit and wisdom have the staying power of a Viagra-induced erection.

In my youthful recollections, I imagine vast beaches laden with bikini-covered co-eds and neoprene-clad surfers.  Jogging along the Malibu sands on Tuesday afternoon, it appeared there’d been an infestation of antiquity upon the coastline.  Like hungry pelicans off the shore, strangely-shaped breasts dove southward toward curdled milk thighs and the skin quality had an Altamira cave painting thing about it, not to mention the overly-revealing European thong-thing Grandpa I-made-my-money-the-old-fashioned-way (shooting low-quality porn films on my beach house balcony) was sporting between the silver-backed peaks of his sagging ass – I didn’t know ass-cracks could have receding hairlines.  If Obama is willing to throw-in cosmetic enhancement for the elderly, I might get behind the plan. Alas, the rumbling Pacific displays a depth well beyond my capacities.

I don’t venture into the relationship world that often but some friends of mine insisted I meet this “very sweet lady” so….the rest of the story…. Ever met someone who had one of those faces where all the pieces of a face are there but they don’t quite add up to a face?  Don’t get me wrong, she was pathologically accommodating….and I was nearly kind enough to breach the velvet rope of her heart, but something in her DNA screamed un-evolved and I fled with that bat-out-of-a-cave V=∆x/∆t.  I know, that was not exactly a generous review of the evening, however I’m discriminating enough in my facebook friend acceptances to know she won’t see this silly blog.

Was watching the Republican debate the other night.  Sen. Rick Santorum suggested that giving States the right to allow gay marriage or legalization of marijuana breaches the overriding Constitutionally-laid morality of this country.  Whether you agree with him or not, it is an interesting contention. If we allow States to determine their own rules, do we then open the door to things such as a return to slavery? Or will States only be allowed to enact progressive legislation such as open borders, or polygamy?  The argument that a few progressively-minded States can set the course for a nation is intriguing.  Perhaps we Californians can take this opportunity to insist upon no State government.  Let’s only pay taxes to our own cities and decide how we want to run our own little communities.  But wait, if our state makes a law that says we have no state government, then….

New word of the day: Umderstand (def) when you do, but not really

Ah, finally, I have an exposition of sleep come upon me.  Lahko noc!

By ccxander

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