Distant bells ring out six a.m. A pumpkin glow ascends into a sky the color of faded 501’s. There is a light breeze and for the last four-hundred seconds, I’ve been in the midst of a Jamaican minute. Along the Montego Bay highway, Shaday Brooks – she of the stained white tank-top, red bandana, tattered leather sandals and a skirt that looks like its been over her head a few times – sells sugar cane stalks to tourists. I am willing, able, and a high-glycemic junkie. Five minutes later, life accelerates before me. The conversation makes me rethink an ethical issue.
“Mon, why you crash da’ car into mine, mon?”
“What you smoking’ brudda’. You crash da’ car into me.”
“I be smoking’ da same shit you smoking’ brudda. We bot’ know who be crashin’ heya”
“Where you get yo’ Ganga, mon?”
“O’er der’ in da’ mountain.”
“Yea dat’s good smoke der’, eh?”
“Ya mon. Ay, what we be arguin’ ’bout a second ago, mon?”
“I don’t remember brudda.”
” ‘Ave a good one mon.”
“Ya mon, you too.”
There are plenty of folks in Washington D.C. making moral decisions based on religion, upbringing and some historically based social construct. And I’ve always been pretty anti-drug in my beliefs. However, watching these Jamaicans fall into instant amnesia as a result of a bong hit or six, not to mention the laissez-faire diplomacy each instituted during the argument, one can’t help but be swayed by the arguments for marijuana legalization. Just imagine a nation of folks so wasted they can’t remember crashing. The speed limit here is 30 mph, mostly because no one is lucid enough to realize how friggin’ slow they are going. Plus, how many times have you heard about Jamaica at war with another country. Doesn’t happen. Yup, I’m just about swayed, except I’m Italian so…Legalize marinara.
The Slovenian girl I’m coaching won again today. 6-0. 2-6. 7-5. Match summary: Great start, brain fart, near shart, ended with a work of art. Tomorrow a day off.
P.S. When a mosquito bites a previously bitten mosquito bite, is that like me having leftovers? I look like the ol’ Dots candy!